Get Your Hopes Up

WITH YOU, I BREATHE: A forty day yoga column

#40: Get Your Hopes Up

Today I called a friend and he answered and we met up at a diner in Echo Park. He’s a good friend. What I like most about him is that he laughs really loud and he is honest. He’s pretty good at calling me out on my bullshit. In this way, he helps me feel grounded.

He told me about a recent woman he was dating, how it ended, and how he was dating another woman. He asked me about my dating hiatus, I told him it was great, it was going strong. He said it would be hard for me to meet someone because I wanted specific things, because I wouldn’t settle. I nodded. I’m not getting to my point.

I told him about a man and he advised me, Don’t get your hopes up.

I looked at him. Why not?

He looked at me, You don’t want to be disappointed.

I said, So what if I am. I love getting my hopes up.

I told him about operating on a baseline, down below and always staying there because what? Because you don’t want to be disappointed. I told him I was going to visualize the best possible situation.

I said, Not getting your hopes up is like constantly being disappointed. And, I said. Go with me on this. I just thought about this.

He said, OK. I’m with you.

I said, Getting your hopes us builds resilience. You get your hopes up, you get disappointed, you pick yourself up again and you get your hopes up again, you get disappointed. Get your hopes up and discover your resilience.

He said, I like that.

Me too.

I’m going to try and remember that. I’m going to get my hopes up.

I’m getting hopes up about you getting your hopes up.

We finished the vegetarian nachos. He worked on his grad school applications, I read Mark Stephens Teaching Yoga. We went to the library and I saw a book with the title Learning to Live with Life’s Disappointments and brought to our table. A little book for the coffee table, the library coffee table.

He looked up and noticed the book. Did you put that here?

Mmhmm. As a joke, I made a funny.

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