I don’t know. I mean, I do know.

WITH YOU, I BREATH: A forty day yoga column

#20: I don’t know. I mean, I do know.

On Sunday, Veronica Brown, a yoga instructor who also does healing body work, visited Shakta Teacher Training. I tried to do some web research on her and found little, some testimonials. Then I stopped researching. What was the point? What was I really looking for?

I don’t know. I mean, I do know. I’m just in the habit of saying I don’t know, when in fact, I do know.

I was looking for some literature that would explain my internal experience. I wanted information to lead to insight. My father was an intellectual, I’m a writer, we live in an information age, all the reasons why. On Sunday, she kept saying, “Thinking leads to more thinking,” and that’s probably true.

I mean, she was pointing out the limits. Thinking leads to insight and self-discovery but sometimes I’m just thinking and thinking and thinking, around and around and around. The same thought caught like a stick in an eddy.

When I was a young girl, I would throw sticks into a stream and follow it down, down, down, until the stick was swept in the current and gone. Sometimes, though, the stick would get stuck in an eddy, and I’d watch it go around and around and around, until I couldn’t stand it, and I’d put my hand in the cool stream. I’d grab the stick and then throw it into the center of the water, where there were no eddies, where it could be carried away with the current.

Sometimes when I meditate I observe the same thoughts, around and around. Thinking leads to more thinking. Information leads to more information. Around and around and around.

On Sunday, Veronica worked with our bodies, worked our energies. She used my body as a demonstration for class. She used her body to open up my body. Her healing is like a dance with light. She channels light around her and uses it to light up my dark spaces. The light is a clearing. What is a clearing but empty and quiet.

In any case, she talked a bit about a Hoʻoponopono saying, which is

I love you.

I’m sorry.

Please, forgive me.

Thank you.

I don’t care about the book about the saying. I don’t care about what people say about them. I just don’t care. I like the words. The four lines sum up what I know about relationships. All my relationships. With my family, friends, lovers. All of it. That’s all what it is. Isn’t it.

I love you.

I’m sorry.

Please, forgive me.

Thank you.

This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s