I’m Shy About These Things
Ar 2 a.m. we sat on the grass of the hotel rooftop gardens. I wanted to kiss him again and again and again, so I did. He pulled away and said, They’re people around.
There were three people, a long way off. I shrugged.
He said, I’m shy about these things.
I thought of D. who once fucked me at a crowded bar in the Castro, who said she said she’d like to do it again. D was a dominatrix, porn performer, and a friend of mine.
I took his hand and led him to a quiet place. There was no one around and there was a pretty view of the city skyline.
We kissed and he pulled away. I waited for him to say something.
We can’t have sex, he said. I’ll get too attached.
Sex wasn’t ever on the table, I said and smiled. I just want to kiss you.